My spiritual, emotional, and healing journey and development have taken on many facets. It has taken me a while to learn many truths and lessons. For example, when I was first studying Reiki, I remember my teacher talking about “compassionate detachment.” I thought, “How can a person be detached and compassionate at the same time?” We discussed this at length. These two concepts seemed at odds with one another.
At first sight, the words “compassionate” and “detachment” seem contradictory.
In fact, many of us were taught that emotional attachment is a prerequisite for compassionate giving.
However, we discover that the more we attempt to “feel someone’s pain,” the more attached we become at removing that pain and we find ourselves in pain. Of course, we want those around us to feel better, but harboring expectations not only creates an energetic imbalance between giver and receiver, it also actually limits our ability to give and love freely. Our ability to reflect compassion, caring, and love is diminished by our own efforts to “make things work out.”
Many of the world’s major spiritual traditions teach the ideal of detachment. In the West, this has often been misinterpreted as not caring, not important, and not real. Quite the contrary. Compassionate detachment is more appropriately defined as loving without attachment income.
This is true unconditional love.
For instance, a caregiver or doctor may offer some form of help, new medicine, device, etc., to ease a patient’s pain. If the patient refuses the assistance, the caregiver or practitioner practicing compassionate detachment does not become angry or frustrated, but rather then serves as an advocate for the patient and becomes respectful and willing to search out other options.
In this way, compassionate detachment offers tremendous freedom and respect for both the healer and the patient. Any shame, fear, and apprehension are quickly erased. Compassion remains intact as unwarranted expectations and attachments are minimized. In the process, a safe environment for healing has been created, maximizing the potential for future healing and growth. The process becomes the medicine.
This truth has led many to believe there is no healing tool more powerful than compassionate detachment.
Embracing the idea of compassionate detachment is a process which requires an ongoing commitment to personal growth and healing.
In time, our love and compassion becomes more and more unconditional.
Our personal energy increases and we find greater happiness, as our ability to give and receive freely and fully becomes increasingly expansive, leaving a positive “ripple effect” on friends, family, and community, as well as on our own well being, as we engage in this loving and powerful practice.